Zombie 'Pataphysical quote of the month

"Adelie penguins trade sex for stones" (New Scientist, 7 November 2009)

Excellent quote of the day

Faith (n): A specific form of dishonesty where one pretends that the inability to distinguish hoping from believing is somehow a virtue.
Found on the Richard Dawkins website but it wasn't him, I think…

What is 'Pataphysics?

The British literary journal the TLS, or Times Literary Supplement, has recently been asking this question, in a debate to which I have contributed. (The TLS and New Scientist would be the two journals that no-one with any claim to culture, and enough money to buy or subscribe, could possibly be without.)

Since 'Pataphysics is both easy and impossible to define, that being the nature of the subject, I came up with a description which, I think, is both excellent and true.

It is that 'Pataphysics is to physics (and hence the "real") as the imaginary number i, the square root of -1, is to the "real numbers" (the scale along which one finds 1,2,3… in one direction and -1, -2, -3 in the other).

The graph above shows what I mean. It will be seen that if one follows the "negative" "real" axis to the left, one reaches the "unreal" - this is not the same as the imaginary or 'Pataphysical of course. The unreal relates directly to the real; Derrida would, I think, have said that the unreal necessarily comes along with the real and vice-versa, in a text or in art and probably anywhere. A question remains - what is the "negative" aspect of the 'Pataphysical axis? Well, of course it's still 'Pataphysical! That's another definition of 'Pataphysics, for free.

i, or the 'Pataphysical, is an imaginary component that can be combined with the "real" to give a complex (with both real and imaginary dimensions) that can enable operations or experiments, concepts etc., which would be impossible without it.

An ashtray is an ashtray, but a 'Pataphysical ashtray needs another dimension, other than the "real", to make sense of it. It thus calls the ashtray into question.

Of course, our perception of this space is rather different from the logical or mathematical representation, and might best be depicted by an image such as the following - or indeed any other…
The burnt edges signify that this is just a fragment of a larger whole.

For ze Frrrench Frrriends - quelques fromages Briiitish

Taken from / de : World Cheese Book, by Juliet Harbutt, published by DK

Disgusting Governmental Protection of Plane Bomber and Appeasement of Terrorists

A so-called civilised, democratically elected government finds it expedient to protect a man who bombed an airliner causing huge civilian casualties. Disregarding calls from countries affected and by the families who lost their loved ones, acting in defiance of the law, of morality and of humanity, the government is STILL protecting this man.

Yes, Luis Posada Carriles, whom even declassified CIA and FBI documents allege was "one of the engineers of the 1976 terrorist bombing of Cubana Airlines flight 455 that killed 73 passengers", was protected by the Bush administration, and still is now. His extradition to Venezuela (amongst other countries) where he is wanted for this crime, has been blocked again and again. He was allegedly on the CIA payroll.

He was welcomed and celebrated as a hero by the Cuban community in Florida, USA.

Surely a boycott of American goods, particularly by the Scots, is in order? How about refusing all imports of hypocrisy?

You couldn't make it up...

calendar>>June 25. 2009 Juche 98

Taedonggang Beer

Pyongyang, June 25 (KCNA) -- The beers including black beer and rice beer made by the Taedonggang Beer Factory are these days popular with the Pyongyang citizens. Beer houses are crowed with working people who look pleased with their successes in the current 150-day campaign. It was Juche 91 (2002) that the just built Taedonggang Beer Factory began supplying beer to the citizens. The cold and soft Taedonggang beer rich in gas content immediately came into great favor among the customers by catering to their tastes. Its fermentation degree is 77.5 percent. The beer houses distributed rationally in residential quarters regularly serve beer carried to them directly from the factory. The refrigerator vans carrying beer have a traffic privilege on the streets of Pyongyang like cars carrying soybean milk to children. The citizens call Taedonggang beer "cold yet warm beer" as it is associated with the warm care of General Secretary Kim Jong Il for the people.

Existence of God Proved! Miracle of Pope's Face in Used Condom! Will DNA Analysis Throw Light on the Genetics of God?

Yes, God exists, and she's not Catholic.

This used condom, already the subject of intense speculation and pilgrimages to the little-known town of Vierzon, in the French Région Centre, was found by a dog and brought home, abandoned in the yard and then rediscovered by Madame Y., the dog's owner.

She said (quoted in The Berry Républicain, the local newspaper which first broke the story) "I was a loyal Catholic, but do not think that God would have chosen to put the Pope's representation into such an object without reason. It may be that the Pontiff's recent statements in Africa that Capôtes Anglaises (French letters) make AIDS worse has something to do with it, because even I know that he must have been drunk or joking, perhaps the both, and that is not suitable for a man of his rank."

The condom has been frozen inside an ice-cube made from holy water in an attempt to preserve the contents for possible DNA analysis, with some believers asserting that if God put the image into the "preservatif" then the contents too must be of divine origin, though the Church has already issued a statement underlining the fact that God would certainly not use a condom if the man Ratzinger had prohibited it (AFP, April 1 2009).

Zombie Mash & Oysters

For pedagogical reasons, I have been invited to prepare an English meal for about 100 people, in France. After much consideration I decided, before the usual second course of English cheeses, sweet wholemeal biscuits, celery and port, to prepare oysters in bacon with puréed potatoes.
It's a fundamentally simple dish when prepared for 4 or 5 people but quantitative expansion brings qualitative problems.

















Oysters are removed from their shells, they and their liquor separated and kept to one side. The oysters will be wrapped in bacon, fixed with a toothpick…




















…flash-grilled and served on a small mountain of purée, made with the oysters' liquor: mashed potatoes that taste of the sea. The bacon is crispy, but the oyster it protects is merely lukewarm.

Fortunately, a nearby restaurant is lending me its kitchen for three hours, and a team of twelve people will open the many, many oysters. Had the restaurant not offered this help, the enrobed oysters would have been cooked using a welding torch or small flame-thrower.

I have been conducting experiments at home, in the kitchen above, as to the mash, and it is these that I wanted to share with you, since it is not at all obvious what sort of purée should be used with oysters on the one hand and smoked bacon on the other.

Even to open my own dozen oysters provide a problem. I had no oyster knife, and Berliners are strangers to good sea food, so none were in the shops. I had to use, variously, a pair of scissors, an ordinary knife and a spoon. This worked, though the juices had to be sieved to remove bits of shell.























Then: there is no decent bacon in Berlin. Not under that name anyway. There is so-called "breakfast bacon" in the shops, but it is a thin, tasteless, miserable product, pumped up with water which oozes out as you try to fry it. However, there is the excellent smoked belly of pork called Speck, and this, in its lean version, is just like good old British smokey bacon.

So the oysters were opened, and their liquor kept in a wine glass…























…a large amount of potatoes was boiled, creamed with butter, salt, pepper and the oyster juices and kept warm whilst different flavours were added to 4 different parts of it, leaving one in its "original" condition.























I decided to try Parmesan cheese, caramelised onions, smoked chili and garlic, and French Provençale mustard, endeavouring to keep the different additives apart.


Most were disgusting. But the caramelised onions went best with the purée de pommes de terre aux huîtres, and it is that combination, served in industrial quantities, that will grease the lips of the terrified French.

Exciting art and graphic news from North Korea!

No pictures this time, the titles should stir readers' imaginations…

"January 21. 2009 Juche 98

Poster Exhibition Opens

Pyongyang, January 21 (KCNA) -- An exhibition of posters calling for intensifying the drive to implement the joint New Year editorial opened at the Pyongyang International Cultural Centre on Tuesday. On display there are more than 70 posters instilling confidence and courage into all the servicepersons and people in the general advance to implement the joint editorial. "Let all of us turn out in the drive for implementing the tasks laid down in the joint editorial!" and "Let us bring about a new great revolutionary upswing on all fronts in the same spirit as displayed by the workers of Kangson!" and other posters truthfully represent the revolutionary spirit of the Korean people waging the general offensive united closer around the party. Such posters as "Let us exalt the dignity and might of Songun Korea with the mental power of all the servicepersons and people!" and "World, look at the spirit of Songun Korea!" fully reflect the firm resolution and mettle of the servicepersons and people to surely open the gate of a great prosperous and powerful nation. Among them are posters "Let us bring about collective innovations!" and "For independence, democracy and reunification!" with diverse themes reflecting the contents of the joint editorial. Also displayed in the venue are at least 80 works created by artists of different art studios while experiencing the pulsating reality of the general advance in the new year."

Pinter clarifies for us how to live with Zombie and quantum physics. A Zombie New Year Smile.

Harold Pinter, who died at Christmas, wrote in 1958 and expanded in 2005 something which makes clear that the worry about "yes and no, true and false" etc. at the heart of any Zombie, Post-Modern or scientific discourse (which must recognise the tentative nature of reality) is swept away by the simple recognition that we have different responsibilities at different levels of thinking, of acting in and on the world.

1958: "There are no hard distinctions between what is real and what is unreal, nor between what is true and what is false. A thing is not necessarily either true or false; it can be both true and false."

Nobel Prize speech of 2005: "I believe that these assertions still make sense and do still apply to the exploration of reality through art. So as a writer I stand by them but as a citizen I cannot. As a citizen I must ask: What is true? What is false?"

Is there, however not a contradiction here? No. Both statements are simultaneously true (smile).
Here is Pinter's speech for the Nobel Prize.

Loosely in the Sky with Microns: Zombie Ratio-Belicosity

(An utterly irrelevant image of a wool ruler, the result of inputting "micron ruler" into Google images. The astute reader (V.) will notice that the ruler appears to contain 2 5/8 of the notes from a musical keyboard. More research needed here, I think.)

(North) Korean Central News Agency, Nov. 28 2008 (Juche 97)

"The U.S. military openly hinted at a preemptive attack on the DPRK, crying out for "shifting the focus to the naval and air forces" and pushing ahead with the moves to reinforce the ultra-modern air strike force, a clear indication of its scenario for provoking another Korean war.
The U.S. imperialist bellicose forces are seriously mistaken if they think they can bring down the DPRK through a strategy for preemptive attack. Should the enemies infringe upon the inviolable sky, land and sea of the country even 0.001mm, the DPRK will mercilessly wipe out provocateurs with the might of Songun and thus remove the root cause of a war from this land. The U.S. imperialist bellicose forces would be well advised to behave themselves."

Zombie Fear and Loathing

Yes, Zombies - being in all respects, with no exceptions, like us (that's the point, do you see?) - can "feel" terror too.
With all due deference to the infinite number of infinitely more terrifying concepts, and knowing that to feel real terror counts amongst the worst experiences anyone can have, that terrorists are by no means the greatest source of human-generated terror in the world, and that psychopaths (NOT to be confused with Zombies, who most certainly can and do empathise with others) are all over the place and often in positions of power… with all due deference to that, one of the worst things I saw this morning, when starting to read a book on randomness and randomicity, were the dread words

See p. 1089

A hardened heart is hard to bend, but not difficult to break.

A broken heart can, in theory, be given the appearance of wholeness by reflection in a suitable non-planar mirror. Unfortunately, such a mirror can only be constructed by taking a flat one and breaking it.
A knowledge of the nature of the broken heart can lead to a mathe-
matical possibility of reconstruction of the mirror, in a higher dimension, by a folding process. But you still want to die.
If you're a Zombie, you can't.
In a story of espionage, betrayal and self-deception on all sides, pieces of the mirror are typically given to a number (n>1) of people who can identify each other by flashing "their" fragment of glass, and fitting it and their colleague's to a general plan which all share. The most inept amongst them mistake this identification and juxtaposition of shards for love.

The Mercy of Dollars - 1000 Words from Palin

A computer was used to analyse the nomination acceptance speech by the appalling, disgusting, lying Palin. The technique used is that of Markov Chains, whereby a deep statistical analysis is used to produce a text whose words and their contexts are a statistically accurate representation of the original speech. It would be too sickening for you to read the original, but as a Zombie I can peruse the dreadful text without too much damage. This 1000 words is presented so that you can get the gist of her talk without the excruciating horror of actually reading it.
Please watch this video, then read the dangerous red text below.



…solar, wind, geothermal, and met far graver challenges...
And produced by using energy problems - I'm just the theme... And thumbs up the stadium lights go up? Or maybe that's now opened for politics as commander in San Francisco.
As governor, I was among the culture of our state and produced by himself. He's a McCain-Palin administration, we're going to bring challenge. And since our own oil that deal was over the right reason is with our cause. Join our citizens of Alaska: we've chosen the pollsters and banners, or keep your job at the Washington for president supports plans to the status quo, to Washington herd. He's a vital pipeline to accomplish, after day. Our opponents say, again and met in April, my kids' public interest - the citizens of Alaska's North Slope of the uniform of this spirit that he praised Harry Truman. I stood up with those leaders, like millions of special confidence of them their careers. And since our own oil deliveries... We share, then I am so proud member of Senator Obama plan? What Obama and dignity. I will lead America is a package. We have been powerless... The Persian Gulf. To the spirit that brought me be better proof that experience, let me explain to leave ourselves at heart. The voters knew better. And when the world, a time for a candidate who has the matter squarely. There is not going to Iraq with a pattern with deeds' My parents are hard to count on that I became governor of 2000 to him speak, it's easy to govern with integrity I'm not just the side of like that already. But with integrity, good opinion - not long way from Washington... And sheer guts of threats and produced by American ingenuity, and two decades and a massive tax burden on working people when all the permanent political establishment.
And since our opponent. How are too high... He would rather lose an extra prayer each night for city council, I can be so hard to you more than see us to be so proud member of opportunity. My parents are good standing of foreign powers that already. But when those reporters and daughters.
I can be considered for more reason to bring challenge. And take the determination, resolve, and other alternative sources. We grow our five children.
In our country in our wars.
They overlooked the prospect of actual achievement and championed reform is exactly is finally in uniform. Track is told: When a man himself - like millions of special love. To the ones whose name you can inspire with his dramatic speeches before devoted followers. And families cannot leave this country I suspended the ones whose names appear on buttons and people like millions of war, a production operator in sight... He can't stand up for a massive tax burden to count on self-designed presidential election of dollars.
My sister Heather and commentators: I'm not be any better proof that he praised Harry Reid, the primary election of their careers to Washington for this week is much to join our country he actually do great man named Tom Moe of Alaska's North Slope... A story is not solve all by hundreds of rhetoric has come through without delay... He refused to John McCain, who use their usual in courage, and by American ingenuity, and as the public interest - as a community organiser, except that deal was struck, we found it. Congress have been able to end their religion and haberdasher from the journey of both. Our nominee for the many special interests, lobbyists, who knows the compassion that already.
But with honesty, sincerity, and admire about his words. For a community, and those troops, that reason to control a servant's heart.
The voters knew better. When McCain shuffled back where winning means survival and Sally Heath.
Hockey mom Long ago, a young farmer and change the uniform of like a community organiser, except when he wants to meet them is not solve all those troops, that sometimes my kids sure miss her. I knew better. When a message: For a story all across this nation better off if we cannot throw away from a season, a community, and gas.
And there to lay more of this spirit that comes from torturous interrogations, he loves. With their country, in North American workers. What does he loves. With their careers to campaign and people by request if our citizens should not looking for all Americans expect us that do nothing at it, I guess a little news flash for this candidate unqualified for our opponents say, We're going into the support great things. There is laid and produced by veto in this election seem to them and resources. As for Vice President of veto in the nightmare world champion snow machine racer. Throw in Michigan or create jobs with a grin and may God bless America. I fought for you... In Juneau... When they realise there to cut off if necessary. Senator Johns McCain. In politics, there to leave this nation could muddle through this. My fellow Americans, that in sight... He loves. With their good times and Sally Heath.
Hockey mom Long ago, a young farmer and relentless reform helps explain why so many things in Minnesota. How are you all, and defeat means survival and downs' Our opponents say, We're going to them and Piper. And children later he's talking about how evil is sort of one into the roar of liked things in our wars.
They are those, like and that do not a message: For a chief executive, I knew better.
And when he was among the mercy of dollars. My nephew Kasey also enlisted, and knew better. And among those reporters and those people when the old politics and healing the theme... And help our European allies by using energy resources, brought victory except that Bridge to do nothing at heart.
I fought the army infantry in chief.

What Zombies Eat for Lunch